1460 Bottles of Beer in the Crate
Canadian 1,460-Step Program for Surviving Current US Presidency
Well, folks, it happened. Or rather, it arrived. On a pallet. Delivered by a guy who looked genuinely concerned for my structural integrity, and possibly my liver.
I'm talking about the legendary Moosehead "Presidential Pack." You know, the one rumoured about years ago when tariffs first threatened our precious Canadian beer supply? The one with 1,460 beers? Yeah, that one.
Apparently, our neighbours to the North decided we might need it for real this time around. One beer for every single day of the next four years. Bless their maple-syrup-loving hearts.
Let's be honest, calling it a "survival kit" feels a bit dramatic. But also... kinda accurate? My plan is simple: Crack one open daily. Maybe two on days with particularly "tremendous" news cycles.
Order here:
https://mooseheadbeershop.ca/products/the-presidential-pack
The Pros:
- Never running out of beer (at least until 2029).
- The crate itself doubles as sturdy, albeit slightly damp, furniture.
- Excellent conversation starter (or ender, depending on who you talk to).
The Cons:
- Finding fridge space. Currently impossible. My bathtub is looking nervous.
- Explaining to visitors why there's a beer monolith in my living room.
- Resisting the urge to finish it by next Tuesday.
For many Americans this will be known as Celebration Pack! One brew for every fantastic day of President Trump making things happen!
Our Canadian friends must know we're after all having a good time down here and decided to help us toast to it properly!
Wish me luck. Or better yet, send ice. Lots of ice.
